I HATE YOU!!!...right?

I hate your face but I see it everywhere! I hate the sound of your annoying voice but oh what I would do to hear you say one word to me! I hate your stupid laugh but you’ll never know the things I would do to hear it! I hate the way you treated me but I miss the way you told me to be safe! I hate the way you thought you were better then me but you are! I hate the way u had to bend down to kiss me but I miss having to go on my tippy toes to kiss you! I hate how I had to hug your waist but I would do anything to hear your heart beat once more! I hate the way you used to go through my journal but now all I write about is you! I hate the way you would just want to sit and “talk” or not talk but now I miss the awkward silence! I hate how I was horrible for you but you were the best for me! I hate you but….I love you

I miss everything about you but I don’t want you. I hate being with you but I want to be with you. Its not like I cant do better, hells I’ve had the chances. But each time I thought how much better you were. I was horrible for you but you were the best thing in my life. I wasn’t ready to let you in, and maybe Ill never be. We were terrible together yet we tried and failed so many times. All I can do now is wish that you want me even though I know we are never going to get back together. I want you so badly! Ill be better this time I promise! If only we could have a fresh start, forget the past. I messed up so bad and you’ll always be hurt because of me. If only I could take it back. So many terrible things have happened from that one moment in time, one was loosing you. Ill survive without you but I don’t want to. I don’t know that your over me but I can guess. No more goofy looking face looking back at me in the halls. I could make it obvious but you already so cocky, you don’t need the satisfaction of taking me back. You would never let that go either. You never could let things go, could you? If you read this would you realize that I cant stand your obnoxious attitude or no? even if u did would u change it? Nope to both eh? All I really want is to be your friend again I miss giving u a hug randomly and talking to you (even though I’d never admit it). I miss the friendship we had, the way you cared and the way you opened up to me. But no you are too egotistical for me, I don’t want to hear it. But I guess its not really a lie. I could have talked to you, but not in person because you don’t do that, I could have. GRRRRR…….

Grrr.....

Change has always been hard.
My heart will always be on guard.
I trust you the way I can.
Will u be my man?
I act the most refined.
Because you’re always on my mind.
I’m always in a lost state.
Walking through my hearts gate
Head and heart in constant quarrel
All thoughts turn immoral
I find myself waiting, wishing,
Hoping you call.
To think, read, hear of you,
Or anything at all.
I’m not subtle but neither are you.
I wonder if you feel it too.
I HATE YOU
YOU MAKE ME FEEL EMOTIONS
I CANT DEAL WITH THIS